RETAKE
The florist who was also playing tennis the other day seems to think that there is some skill in me. He was clearly being polite… made me happy though so got a new addition to the flat. Now I just need a cow to make mozzarella!!

Basil and Cybil sitting on the kitchen window sill.

NAVRATILOVA VS ROGER FED.
Anyone out there willing to come over and teach us to play tennis? I did get to share the female changing rooms with a couple of lads if that can be of any incentive to any of you… Seriously lacking balls though (tennis, you perverted mind).

Firm tomatoes??

MEET THE PARENTS
Friends and readers, meet Piero, Rocio and her parents. In their flat in Este, near Padova, we would have tried to throw the dog out of the window and revive it with the phone wires, but they did not have a pet, so we had to sit around eating and drinking instead! Xenya has just told me that all of Australia is up in arms about a cat that can pee on a normal loo. Maybe I should start pet training and stop being an unemployed artist?

Testing the resitance of IKEA furniture.