THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
Les poules, je vous dédie ma première oeuvre d’art.
(Contactez Sotherbys pour la vente aux enchères de juin)

Cette semaine, ce sont les membres de la famille des gallinacés qui sont restés au devant de mes pensées. Entre un morceaux de verre, trois points de colle, deux crises de nerfs parce que la cementite préférait mon doigt au bois, je me suis pointee a Comacchio. Comment vous ne connaissez pas votre geographie italienne mes petites !! A cote de Ferrara, sur la cote, ou le Po rencontre l Adriatique. Et tout ca pour une foire du birdwatching. Vous me connaissiez une passionnee de la chasse au canard (H, le cassoulet a ete devore hier soir - ca sentait un poil la bouffe pour chien...), une mordue de la longue vue, une habituee des sous bois et fourres genevois, eh bien ce weekend fut dedie aux pigeons italiens. (je n’approfondirait pas sur ma recherche de boulot avec les ong presentes sur place).

Admettre d avoir roule quatre heures rien que pour se faire une piadina romagnola ne serait pas justifiable.

Marzia Dottarelli, the guru.

Half a bird.

On the bathroom wall.

Not a bird in sight, Comacchio, at the Birdwatching Fair.

MOULDS, YEASTS AND FUNGI
Feeling like I should bake some bread now. It is related to the fact that toasting loaf in this country never goes off. You can keep it open in the cupboard for a month and it still refuses to go green and hairy. The biscuits never go soft either... Will be fully preserved by the time I get back to GVA. Better get that 4MB recipe that Kate sent downloaded.

Not cheese on toast

CANARD A L’ORANGE
This weekends’ entertainment revolved around the Festa della Primavera and the Festa del Tulipano, both well timed since the temperature decreased by 15 degrees and there are no tulips in sight yet… Still, better than party dinners!

A sociological study carried out by The Expat on Saturday revealed that Italians prefer the “dance of the ducks” to other higher forms of communication. Tests carried out on a pool of 50 volunteers illustrated intense shaking of upper and lower limbs in the majority of participants, in time with the rhythm of the duck dance. The tunes “Charlie Brown” and “Heidi” also provoked spastic movements in most of the test sample.


Want the lyrics? Click here

BLOW ME!
No flying pigs in Cortona, just half the tiles from the roof and three quarters of the bricks from the wall. Thankfully no one walked passed whilst the gale force winds were doing their best to blow the flat off the top of the building and knobble passer-bys with bits of debris. It’s Tuscany in Spring!! Unfortunately the gas heating system didn’t like the winds either so I can now confirm that cryogenisation of the first layers of skin does nothing to reduce wrinkles. In fact, I think it makes them worse as muscles twitch to generate heat.

OVER THE MOTORWAY SHE FLEW
She chose the weekend the Pope died to fly in and out of Rome. Innocently she boarded in Geneva and expected pick up at Ciampino. At the receiving end, a car revved the engines at 5am, released the hand brake and sped towards the motorway. Two hours later, at a standstill, the pilot took the wrong turn, distracted by the Easyjet plane flying overhead. To the dismay of pedestrians and smaller cars, the Mercedes did a three point turn and got back in line. In slow motion, the asphalt eventually led to the tarmac. Three days of caipirinah and too many shops later, the pimpmobile was back on the roads, this time heading over the Apennines. The Pope was being buried, Rome was gridlocked, migs only were allowed into the airspace, and car plus passengers were in Bologna.

The Pimp Mobile.

Tatoos and Caipirinahs.

APRIL FOOLS
After last night’s patriotic show at the party dinner (no, not dyslexic, did not intend dinner party), I thought it wise to find out how and where to vote (Italy is currently obsessed with the regional elections - and Alessandra Mussolini, and Charles and Camilla). Because, three weeks after applying, I have still not been approved as a citizen, I received the cold shoulder from the voting office… “you’ll have to wait until next year to vote,” they said. “It will take at least 6 months for the paper work to go through.” April fools???? Sadly, no.

Why not catapult a pig round the office for April Fools?