BIROS AND NURSES, A COMMON DENOMINATOR


Hello, my name is Giandomenico, Giando to my friends. This is my girlfriend Federica. We are sitting at the Battibecco restaurant in Perugia (where Olivia swore she would never set foot again after eating a kilo of salt in one plate of pasta).

Cristian and Luca have just described the first aid courses they attended. Federica and I are horrified because we are both nurses and neither of our friends have said anything right so far. Olivia is giggling hysterically because Cristian was told that if someone chokes, the only way to save them is to cut their throats open, just under the Adam's apple (nothing about trying to free the windpipes, or about the hazards of cutting jugular veins). Or alternatively to stick a biro (preferably a bic - was the course sponsored??) through the windpipe. She was laughing at the idea that you could actually nail someone to the floor doing that - whilst incidentally killing them also.

Luca then explained what he was told to do if bitten by a snake. It involved knives, sucking venom out of wounds and tying laces round legs and arms. At this point, I can no longer speak. My jaw dangles open.

To say I also give similar lessons and never taught any of my (paying) students such rubbish...